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“I told him you weren’t broken.” Mom swallowed. “Then he said something I’ve remembered for six years.”
“What?”
Her fingers closed around mine.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
“He said, ‘Good. Because I don’t know how to fix people. I only know how to stay.’”
I couldn’t speak.
“I don’t know how to fix people. I only know how to stay.”
Mom squeezed my hands.
“For six years, Noah has kept a promise to me that you never knew existed.”
My heart began pounding.
“What promise?”
Whatever came next was the truth she’d dragged me upstairs to hear.
And suddenly, I wasn’t sure I was ready for it.
Whatever came next was the truth she’d dragged me upstairs to hear.
Mom’s voice cracked.
“I asked Noah to promise he’d look after you.”
I stared at her.
“You… what?”
“I was falling apart, Chrissy. Your father had left, you barely spoke to me, and Noah was the only person who seemed able to reach you.”
I froze.
“I asked Noah to promise he’d look after you.”
Mom wiped her cheek.
“He said, ‘Okay.’ Just like that.”
Downstairs, Noah laughed again.
Mom looked toward the door.
“And then I did something I’m ashamed of.”
“What?”
“For six years, I worried you were sacrificing too much for him,” she admitted.
I went still.
“I did something I’m ashamed of.”
“Every time you waited for Noah, defended him, changed plans because he wasn’t invited, I wondered whether you felt responsible for him.”
“Mom…”
“I kept measuring your friendship by what Noah might need from you.” Her mouth trembled. “I never bothered measuring it by what he gives.”
Suddenly I saw six years differently.
“I kept measuring your friendship by what Noah might need from you.”
Ice cream after my driving test.
That stupid dinosaur in his locker.
Lunches when I couldn’t talk.
A porch when my heart was broken.
Noah hadn’t needed me to carry him.
We had simply kept showing up for each other.
“So what’s your condition?” I whispered.
Noah hadn’t needed me to carry him.
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