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In talking with dozens of women, I quickly realized that their ages varied greatly. Does this mean that this maternal toxicity has nothing to do with belonging to a particular generation? “Since the comic book came out, through messages or at book signings, the illustrator and I mainly see women, but also men, who say, ‘The mother in the book is my mother,’ and sometimes, ‘She’s my father,’ but I’ve noticed that it concerns people of all generations!” reports Sophie Adriansen. “ I’m 42 years old, and I meet women twenty years younger than me as well as women my mother’s age, which reveals a pattern, a way of functioning that transcends the era. We initially thought there was a generational aspect to it, perhaps linked to the children of May ’68 who are reacting to overly strict upbringing or reproducing certain things… But no, it concerns women of very diverse ages and backgrounds.” Questioning one’s mother, grandmother, but also one’s sister, best friend, or boss, can seem difficult in a time when we are increasingly called upon to show solidarity with one another. In this sense, would cutting ties with one’s mother be an anti-feminist act? “I would tend to think the opposite,” the author replies. “ If we cut ties because it proves necessary or because we are creating distance, it means we are rejecting the mechanisms of domination at play. Taking back control of one’s life, one’s own path, is rather feminist, isn’t it? Mothers who seek at all costs to exert this domination are reproducing something patriarchal.” Feminist education can even be one of the tools that helps you cope better with a toxic mother, as Léa, 30, explains to me: “At 26, I had a constant feeling of failure and inferiority, until I met a 50-year-old colleague, single and childless, who said to me, ‘Your mother isn’t very feminist, is she!’ I asked her to explain what feminism was because—no joke—between my closed-minded background and my seven years of medical school, my knowledge was limited. It was a revelation to realize that 100% of my pain came from the patriarchy, which my mother also suffers from, along with my father, and which she reproduces on me… Feminism allowed me to detach myself from all of that. Today, I want to be as active as possible in activism to flourish and, I hope, help other women do the same.”Individuals and Society
If you have questions about your relationship with your mother or someone close to you, I highly recommend reading Dear Mom, which will undoubtedly lead to a greater awareness. “We don’t have to break things off, but we also don’t have to stubbornly cling to a relationship that hurts us,” concludes Sophie Adriansen. I would add, for those who aren’t victims of toxic parents but witness this kind of relationship, that this book helped me finally put an end to the infamous, and incredibly damaging, “But still, she’s your mother…” Pregnancy and maternity
Simone loves it: Chloé Thibaud’s recommendations
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been careful about my weight.” This is the opening line of Juliette Lenrouilly’s book, Affamées (Fayard), and it resonates particularly strongly with today’s episode. In one out of every two interviews I conducted, the women spoke to me about their mothers’ remarks regarding their weight. What if, whatever our weight, we were always “too fat”? The journalist conducts an eye-opening investigation “into the culture of thinness” and focuses in particular on the phenomenon “recently dubbed the ‘ almond mom .’” She explains: “In the world of the ‘almond mom,’ being thin is paramount, and if you’re hungry, a few almonds should suffice.” I liked the fact that she gives a voice to many witnesses – particularly the women around her (including her mother, by the way) – and it’s a rather judicious read as we approach June, during which, spoiler alert , we will inevitably hear about this damn “summer body”!Design and visual arts
“Nina Makeup” is a young beauty content creator. She has 150,000 followers, but she’s alone. Very alone. One day, she realizes someone is stalking her, and her daily life, punctuated by “Get Ready With Me” posts, becomes less and less glamorous… “Everything is slipping away from me,” she finally confesses. “Yet, I’m doing exactly what I’ve been told to do… I just want to make a living from my passion… To make people beautiful, to make them love themselves… To make them love me… To be the best version of myself. Why isn’t it working?” I loved Sangliers ( Wild Boars ), the new graphic novel by Lisa Blumen , just published by L’employé·e du moi . A thriller in fifty shades of pink that tackles the subject of “influence”—darker than it seems—with great style and originality . An extra like for the superb cover .Design and visual arts
“You can’t apply equality within a couple in a society that is unequal. In fact, it’s asking women to enrich men in the name of feminism.” These words from Lucile Quillet resonated with me when I watched the documentary My Capital , directed by Sarah Tahlaiti , which retraces her own journey as a woman for whom money “has always provoked a feeling of insecurity.” The experts are all fascinating – a special mention goes to Vanessa Caraes , a former bank advisor and financial coach, who speaks frankly about heterosexual couples: “It’s about loving, but loving intelligently […]. It’s not love to say, ‘I earn 4,000 euros, she earns 1,800 euros, we split everything 50/50, I save, I get richer, and she, well… I love her!’” Financial education is a priority because money is political! A must-see film , available since yesterday on on.suzane , a fantastic, independent , and committed platform for feminist documentaries and content (if you subscribe, take the opportunity to also discover Judicaëlle Perrot’s series “PMA pour toustes “).
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